Clicheorama
by scoob2222
Summary: A whole bunch of cliche ways Jack and Chloe can get together in one cracktastic fic.


"Jack," Bill said into the phone, "Can you get Chloe and come to my office please?"

"Of course Bill, we'll be right there."

Several minutes later a glaring and irritated Chloe followed Jack in, "Is this important Mr. Buchanan? I was just leaving for the day."

"Actually it is Chloe. Something has come up and we are going to need you and Jack to work tonight. You'll be attending a party that is a front for a meeting between several terrorist groups. We'll need you to get some information from them Jack, get your name in there, and we'll need Chloe to break into their computer system, leave a bug so that she can watch what they're doing…..also, you'll pretend to be a couple and Chloe you'll need to wear something fancy."

Jack stared over at his beautiful partner, her eyes burning Bill silently, "And black. Small and black is….best."

"Good idea, Jack. You should leave now, get ready, I'll have the rest of the information for you when you get back."

The movement they got out of the office Chloe was complaining, "This is ridiculous. How many times are we going to have to do this?"

"Chloe, it's our jobs. Also, I think you should wear that new black dress that you wore to Milo and Nadia's wedding. It shows off lots of cleavage."

"WHAT?" Chloe said, spinning around and almost ending up in his arms.

"Huh? Oh, nothing," he replied and then pulled her along, "Look, we can catch the elevator." He dragged her along and the two of them got in just as the doors were closing. They weren't alone in the small enclose space; Milo and Nadia were with them.

The elevator moved down to the parking garage, when all of a sudden it stopped, leaving them stuck between the second and first floor.

"Fuck," Chloe said, "That just makes my day."

"Relax, Chlo," Jack said, "I'm sure we'll be out of here in no time."

&&&&&&

3 hours later…

"No time, huh?" she glared at him, "I'm freaking bored."

"Oh come one, at least we don't have to go on the mission anymore. Although now you won't be wearing that dress, which is a damn shame for me, I got off on you and that dress for weeks last time."

Chloe's eyes widened, "Are you drunk?"

"That's a great idea," Milo said, "I have tequila." He pulled out a bottle.

"Where was that?" Chloe said, "Your back pocket," her sarcasm was at full power.

"Well, yes," he said, "Let's make this interesting and add some truth or dare to it."

Chloe shrieked, "No, no, no."

"Come on Chloe," Nadia said, "It could be fun and it would pass the time."

"You know what else would pass the time?" Chloe grabbed the tequila bottle, "Milo I dare you to make out with your wife! There you go."

Shrugging Milo grabbed his wife and kissed her, backing her against the wall as they made out.

"Nice! Free porn!" Chloe said and sat down on the floor, opening the bottle and taking a long drink. She turned toward Jack and offered him the bottle, "Want some?"

Sighing at his lost night ogling Chloe's breasts he took a long drink and ogled the tiny sliver of skin he could see between the bottom of her pants and her shoes.

"Nice!" he said.

&&&&&&

2 hours later….

Chloe wakes up on top of Jack. Milo and Nadia's rolling bodies took up most of the elevator so when she and Jack had decided to nap they'd been forced into tight quarters. Enjoying the warmth his body provided she snuggled in closer only to scream as a sudden gush of water hit her.

"AHHH! Sprinklers, what the hell?" Almost as soon as they came on they were off again.

"It must be the repair men. They must have hit something," Milo said as he came up for air.

Chloe shook in her soaked clothing. Since she'd been on top of Jack and directly below the sprinkler she'd taken most of the hit and was now freezing.

"Chloe," Jack said, worry filling his voice as he sat up with her in his lap. He rubbed his hands over her arms.

"I….I'm….f..i…fine…" she stammered.

"No, you're not. You need to get these clothes off. You're going to get hypothermia." Jack went about efficiently removing her shirt and pants, covering her in his t-shirt and then snuggling her against his chest….to share body heat—of course.

&&&&&&

1 hour later…

The emergency exit opened and in dropped first Morris and then Audrey.

Chloe reached for the tequila bottle and seeing that it was empty said, "Someone kill me. Shoot me. Or at least take the bottle and knock me out."

"Jack," Audrey said, plastering herself against him, shoving Chloe out of the way and into Morris' arms as she went, "I'm so sorry I ever left you. I missed you."

"That's really nice for you," Jack said, "But, as you can see I was a little busy cuddling with Chloe. And she's all naked under my t-shirt, so if you could take your nails out of my arm, I'm going to go back to that."

"Chloe, luv, I miss you."

"Get off of me," she said and shoved him back. He hit Audrey who fell into Jack. Jack fell back and hit his head, "Oh no! Jack you hit you're head, you might be dying of internal bleeding. I know, Milo can marry us."

"Okay, that's it." Chloe stood up and grabbed Audrey by the hair. She slammed her head against the wall until she slid down it unconscious. Morris was on her in a second, "Luv, are you okay? That was so hot."

Chloe ignored him and turned toward Jack, "Have you been hitting on me all night because you're horny or because you're in love with me."

Jack smiled at her, "Can it be both?"

Chloe smiled back, "You bet your ass it can. In fact if you knock Morris out we can do it right here."

Jack eagerly knocked Morris out as Milo said, "Uh, Ewww."

Chloe didn't even turn, "Milo you can shut up or you can join little miss annoying in dream land."

Milo said nothing.

Chloe jumped into Jack's arms, wrapping her legs around his waist.

And then the elevator started moving.

"Son of a bitch," Chloe said.

The doors opened on the bottom floor revealing Mr. Buchanan looking at them, half-apologetic, and when he saw Audrey and Morris, half confused, "What the hell happened in there?"

"What happened…" Chloe told him, "Is that they are going to need some medical attention, Milo and Nadia are in heat and Jack and I are going home to fuck. Bye." She grabbed Jack's arm and pulled him along.

He waved at Bill as he passed.

&&&&&&

When she opened her eyes in the morning she was immediately sorry she had. Apparently a marching band had taken up residence in her head while she slept.

She finally managed to sit up and looked over. Then she screamed, "JACK!"

He bolted straight up, and half awake screamed, "CHLOE!"

"We had sex," she said.

"Are you sure?"

She glared, "Yes, Jack I am sure."'

"I don't remember."

"Neither do I…I think we have alcohol induced amnesia."

"You knocked Audrey out," he said suddenly, "And I knocked out your moron ex, and you told me you loved me."

"Hey, you said it back."

"And then we had lots and lots of sex."

She grinned at him, "Does that mean you're too tired to go again?" She flung off the blanket and straddled him.

He eyed her swaying breasts and grinned wolfishly at her, "Tired? Oh baby, I haven't even gotten started."

&&&&&&

Three months later…

"I hate reunions," she told him, "This is stupid."

"Chloe, I told you. One of your classmates in college is now building bombs for terrorists. This will be a great way of gaining Intel without even needing to be undercover. You went to the school, and it's your reunion."

"Fine," she said, "but before we go, I need to tell you that I can't drink tonight."

"Why?" he asked, "You know I won't let you get naked in front of anyone that's not me."

She glared at him, "That was one time and….that's not it anyway. I can't drink because it's not good for the baby."

"Oh, oh…..what?" his jaw dropped, "How long?"

"Three months. Apparently you have really great aim with all your weapons."

"I love you," he told her and kissed her, picking her up and spinning her in a circle, "I love our baby."

"You damn well better. You also damn well better get me some ice cream on the way. I'm hungry and reunion food sucks."


End file.
